Many find it difficult to accept separations and say goodbye. It triggers uncomfortable feelings to look at the relationship reality and the separation reality. But saying goodbye gets harder when you look away and indulge in dreams and good memories.
Why is saying goodbye so difficult?
Many people avoid goodbyes. Because they are afraid of losing the familiar and of the uncertain new things. This text should help you to accept the separation and to say goodbye. But just as every relationship is unique, every breakup is unique.
How different can breakups be?
There are mutually fulfilling relationships that end because a life choice leads to them. There are relationships that were quite unsatisfactory and yet it is difficult to get over the breakup. Sometimes breakups mean never having contact again. There are breakups that mean that two people no longer do certain things with each other, but still have contact with each other. There are so many ways to break up.
Why did our relationship just end like this?
A breakup that seems inexplicable to you is particularly difficult to process. But there are reasons for a breakup. Relationships don’t just end like that. You may not like the reasons for the breakup and would prefer not to look at them.
Why am I afraid of saying goodbye?
Many people avoid goodbyes. Because they are afraid of losing the old and of the uncertain new. Saying goodbye helps you against this fear. When you say goodbye properly, you honor the person and you honor your relationship as well. You don’t lose by saying goodbye. You gain something.
What do I gain with a successful farewell?
You realize that your life will go on no matter what happened. Enriched in this way, you can boldly venture into the new and unknown. If you put off saying goodbye, you remain mentally stuck in the relationship. So you take the chance to relieve the pain of separation yourself. You experience the heartache that can keep coming back until you find peace with the breakup.
How can I say goodbye to my dreams?
In reality, a lot has probably happened that you didn’t want. You may have rarely written to each other, hardly seen each other and when there were problems, one or the other only looked for excuses instead of trying to find a solution.
How do I manage to say goodbye?
Farewell rituals can help. You might want to have a farewell conversation with your ex’s picture. Especially when the real person doesn’t want to talk to you. You could tell him or her what you have experienced with him or her. Or what you’ve been missing. Or where you did wrong and what you regret. Or what you want to do in the future to have better relationships. But you can also tell him or her how he or she made your life richer and what experiences with him or her you will keep and appreciate.